....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
