dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
