bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
