He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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