I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
