someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am spending my child support on dildos
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My dad just said "fuck circus"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
