I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Did I show you my penis last night?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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