we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
