I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
