If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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