is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
