someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
