you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
