i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize