She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
