Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
