I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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