yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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