whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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