if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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