okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
