Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
