WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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