What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
