His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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