Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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