it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize