Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
