if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
