i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
