it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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