remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
