dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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