Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
