Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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