i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
