Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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