I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
another moral hangover. fuck.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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