Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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