i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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