there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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