I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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