The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
