you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
