is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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