I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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