Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
