so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
