Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i believe in u and ur pee
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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