Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
