my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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