I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
