I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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