I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
