four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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