if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
