Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
