I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
