I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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