i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
